In Praise of Proactivity
June 5th, 2010
I went to visit my very pregnant friend Juliette this week. She has been married for a little under a year and is blissfully happy. She and her husband found one another via the Christian dating site fusion101. They are one of three couples I know who met on the site and married last year. I understand the hesitation that perhaps it is a little unromantic or calculated to go "shopping" for a mate, but hear this: it is okay to want to get married. It is okay to admit this. It is better to do something about it than sit there whining that there are "no decent single men in my church" (you know who you are!). I think there is something truly wonderful about two people who manifestly belong together finding each other despite the fact that they live in different cities, have no common friends, and work full time.
Maybe this is the nudge you need to add your profile to a reputable site and get out there. Happy surfing, and do let us know if anyone interesting comes your way!
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Your comments
Marie
~ June 10th, 2010 ~ 13:06I agree, but would add that you should know these sites require a bit of a time commitment and you have to be pretty dedicated to wade through all the dead ends. It worked out for me though :)
Martin~ September 13th, 2010 ~ 13:09I agree that internet dating can be great, though it isn't for everyone.
For me, I spent a not inconsiderable amount of money on a subscription site, and ended up actually feeling more 'unwanted' as time and time again my messages were ignored...
It's worth considering whether you can cope with that kind of rejection.
Jo
~ September 27th, 2010 ~ 12:09That is a good point Martin. I guess extending yourself to another person, even via a fairly detached medium, is a risky business, and internet dating certainly isn't hurt-free. Perhaps by increasing the number of potential relationships, the potential rejection is also increased. You have to want a relationship pretty badly to put yourself out there. But I personally think that wanting a relationship badly is fine.
Martin
~ October 12th, 2010 ~ 12:10Thank you! Normally I get people telling me, "It'll happen when you're not looking..."
I'm still not sure how to stop looking for something you want!
(Incidentally, I wonder if I could apply their logic to, say, washing up or vacuuming: "Don't do it, it'll happen when you're not looking..." :p)
jo
~ October 13th, 2010 ~ 14:10maybe it happened when you weren't looking and you missed it. What if you succeed in not wanting it, and it happens and you actually don't want it. What if it was right there and you were so busy pretending not to want it that it got fed up and left. I think this strategy has some serious flaws. But I wish it worked regarding housework!
Essie
~ October 30th, 2011 ~ 17:10Thanks for the tip about a Christian dating site, I've signed up for a free regular dating site but it's hard finding Christians on there. Gonna try fusion101 and see how it goes!
Jo
~ November 4th, 2011 ~ 10:11Ooh- let me know how it goes! I know so many people who have got married as a result of meeting on that site. And will check out your book suggestion- thanks! x
